The first step...

So many things have been going on in my life lately. I worked at a job that I was satisfied with, but my spiritual life was not. I struggled to get up on Sunday mornings and go to church, so I didn't. I struggled to just drag myself to church any other time. I was dying spiritually. I can't say that there was any one reason as to why I felt dead on the inside. I just did not feel Jesus moving. I didn't let Jesus move in me. I knew I had to do something, and quick, or I would be completely dead. And honestly, there were several times that I was ready to give up on the whole 'God' thing and run away. I was excited at all the fun things I could do if I were not in ministry. Party, date as many men as I wanted, smoke, drink...the list goes on. The thought of these things actually made me happy. That's when I knew it was time for a change!!!

I started really praying about it and seeking God's direction in my life. I knew it was time for me to move on, I was just unclear as to where and when. I felt the push to go in May of 2011, but fear held me back and I did not step out on the water. The push continued and I thought "maybe August," but again, I let fear control me. I was unsatisfied. I was miserable and felt as though dying would be better than what I was feeling! (Not suicidal. Just that feeling that it can't get any worse!)

Things at work got harder. I loved my girls and I loved the people, but there was just something that was not right. I had meeting after meeting and it felt as though I was getting paid just to attend meetings! Well, at one of my meetings I was asked what my plans were for the future. The only answer I could give, and I will still give if your were to ask me today, was to allow God to guide my steps. Wherever and whatever He calls me to do, I will do. Ha! God has a great sense of humor...because that night, I got a text from a friend saying that there was an opportunity for me to get involved with this amazing ministry called IHOP (International House of Prayer) and in that instant, I knew that now was the time to take that giant leap of faith I had been too afraid to take before. I said a quick prayer, just to make sure it was God, and He answered right away! Things went into motion, I started telling people my decision and everything from that point on changed. Everything that was weighing me down, was lifted. I felt at peace and true happiness overwhelmed me.

Confirmation after confirmation came in the days that followed. The more people I told, the more it was confirmed that I was going where God had called me to go. I was afraid, again with the fear, that people would have negative comments about me leaving. That they would say I was making a mistake to leave in the middle of a school year (since I was a teacher), but I got nothing like that. Instead, I got praise and congratulations for taking the step of faith. Not one person had anything negative to say to me (those that were upset about it, just didn't talk to me).

So, here is where I am today. I have moved from one side of Indiana, Richmond, to the other side of Indiana, Terre Haute. I am staying with some friends and enjoying the opportunities that God brings my way. I will be starting the IHOP Introduction Internship in February. I am a little worried about how the bills are going to get paid, but I know that because of my faithful act of stepping out onto the water, God will provide. He will not allow me to suffer, so I am not going to worry about it!

There are so many opportunities out here that I don't even know where to begin! I guess all I can do at this point is put it in God's hands and allow Him to orchestrate the appropriate timeline of my life :) I will get to all of what He has for me, just in His timing.

I wanna leave you with this: Do not be afraid to step out of the boat and walk on water. If God is calling you to go someplace, GO! Do not be afraid. God has your best interest at heart. He does not want to see you suffer. He wants to bless your life and bless it abundantly. Trust Him to take you where you need to be. Take a step of faith!